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Thursday, September 2, 2010

Big Yellow Bus

I've been watching two school-age girls the last two weeks. I put them on the bus in the morning and then I get them off in the afternoon and keep them till their mom gets off work. This is the first year that R has had to ride the bus and so far it hasn't been pretty. I had no idea what I was getting myself into putting a brand new 5 year old on for the first time. Let's just say there was crying, hugging, pulling, pushing, arm gripping, and a mom on a bus with a baby. Not sure about R but I was completely mortified and severely scarred.

The entire day I couldn't stop thinking about the horror that had occurred. That night I was snuggling with Johanna and looking for some therapy. Johanna had witnessed the bus scene so I thought we could talk about it. I told her how R was upset cause she was so nervous and how school kids ride the bus but that I would NEVER put her on a bus. I would make sure that my baby wouldn't have to go through the trauma that had unfolded earlier that day.
Johanna was quiet and listened to my every word. When I was done talking she looked at me and said "but mom I really want to ride that yellow bus."

and therapy was over.

Johanna had her preschool open house this week and after my bus experience I felt prepared . We met her teachers and she made a little craft and colored her frog name tag. I know she will do great at school but I can't help picturing her without me. What if she can't figure out the kid scissors and starts freaking out and I'm not there to talk her through it? What if she can't get her skirt pulled all the way down in the bathroom and she pees all over it? What if she talks when she is supposed to listen and she gets in trouble?
She wanted me to leave her at the open house but I had to explain that school actually starts next week.

I'm not sure which thought is more disturbing, Johanna being pulled off me at the scary bus stop, or Johanna running up the bus steps without looking back at me. I'll work on a special "homeschool field trip" so she can have a ride on a bus (maybe the RTA) but there is no way she is riding that scary yellow bus, even if she wants to.


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